A Decade Plus Five///9.11.01

Fifteen years ago, four planes crashed onto our soil and forever imprinted dread of this day in history. Many orphans resulted from this day, and after a message from P. K last night my heart says this…


Fifteen seconds is all it took for me to awaken to the tragedy that was upon us on nine eleven, two thousand and one.  I shook off sleep as my family on the East coast bellowed through the unsettling phone lines, “we are at war!”

Torture struck.  The enemy took.  Evil seemed to prevail  that morning in New York City, the Pentagon, and later in a barren field in Pennsylvania.  I’m old enough to recall all of the horrors of that time, the constant media coverage that wasn’t enough.  Watching non-stop news coverage, made us feel more connected to what the lost and the survivors were going through after the twin towers were obliterated by terrorists.

The United States of America was United way past the vision I see of our beautiful country today.  Due to a force on our soil that brought us into instant unification through turmoil, of the worst kind.  The enemy declaring war and a momentary victory we had no knowledge of such horrors Pearl Harbor.  

People often ask me if I write to music and the answer is always, yes.

The strongest song that prevails is always, Oceans by Hillsong United.  

(Insert eye roll) I know all too well from my teenage sons this song is overplayed, and our youth is sick of it. In the black of night and abstraction of life, I find myself the most prolific listening to the powerful words as God moves my fingers and words flow like a river chasing the ocean.  


My feet may fail and fear surrounds me….


So I may call upon your name.


For I am Yours.  And you are Mine.

For all of time God has promised us His love, His mercy, and His grace.  If we follow.  If we navigate our lives through His simple, yet meaningful instructions.  

Stay away from the fruit on this one tree.

Love thy neighbor.

Give the orphans a home.

Serve the less fortunate.

We constantly fail at these simple yet imperative commands.

God tells us that without Him, without our commitment to the depth we are all capable of, we are weak and the lowest of His people can be forever lost.

Tonight Pastor Kevin broke my heart.  Yes, I was the one  in the front mid center bawling my eyes out.  The big bleeding heart with my strong soul of a husband beside me.  And because we have the heart of God and of His children we both wept, held tight, and knew that greatness was about to take place.

As somewhat of an adult orphan myself,  I will answer the call (to help how I can) and pray that God will provide me someone willing to take me into their hearts.  Being an adult orphan is hard.  Birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, these times are difficult making me covet generations of families gathered around the table for a festive dinner.  I have created my own family and feel so blessed, yet empty of guidance and the love of an elder.  I believe in prayer, and I trust if I am faithful,  adoration will be mine a thousand fold.

As service closed and our entire church applauded the countless families up on stage, as they all proclaimed we did it all in love.  So many orphans now had families, so many parents now had children.  The circle complete, the need fulfilled.  How great is our God?

Alan and I shook with joy and love as we are blessed to have four kids of our own, serve in Journey Kids whenever we can.  But moreover, we lived through Nine Eleven.

We saw its wreckage and all the fatherless children it left behind because of a slaying that took place on our soil.  So, if you judge me for my patronize or respect for my flag, my grandfather stormed Normandy, and my God held tight all of those soldiers who took down flight ninety-three.  Respect is what I give, remembrance is what I feel. 

On the anniversary, we all hate to acknowledge because it makes us feel uncomfortable because four planes killed in excess of three thousand souls.  Also all around the world millions of children go home to a sick and small institution.  This breaks my heart and brings it all together this anniversary.  God calls us to minister to the weak and lonely and to honor the fallen in tragedy.


A decade plus five later I was left a bawling mess at church knowing that so much is lost and yet, I am left…here for a powerful reason if I step up to the call on my heart.  I encourage all of us to join together to help.  There are so many children in the world that are hungry, lost, and cold.  But mostly lacking what we all need the most in this life….love.

What we are here to do is clear and the fruit of our commitment can be beyond our wildest of imagination;  if we only listen and commit to journey forward.






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